How to talk to your ex about money without a row

Financial conversations fail for predictable reasons: they happen at the wrong time, cover too much at once, and mix money with history.

A structure that works

1. Agree the agenda in advance, in writing, with no more than two items.
2. Meet at a fixed time with a defined end, ideally not at home.
3. Start from the disclosure figures rather than from proposals.
4. Deal with facts first, then options, then decisions.
5. Send a short written summary afterwards, without commentary.

Language that helps

• Use I need rather than you always.
• Talk about the children's needs, not fairness to you.
• Park anything that is not on the agenda for the next conversation.

This article is general information about the law of England and Wales, not legal advice. For advice on your situation, speak to a solicitor.